The 2012 United States Presidential Election is coming up. It is going to be very important because the president could make something you love illegal, like they did with stealing. The republican candidate is Milt Romeny. He is a morman. That is not the weirdos with the beards that don’t watch TV. It is the ones with the weird eyes that have a bunch of wives. They don’t drink beer though. Milt has never done a brew stew before. That is where you fill a bathtub up with beer and have a hooker take a bath in it and then you drink it. Do we really want someone so inexperienced in the White House? The tubs will go unused. Also, mormans don’t smoke and eat people sometimes. That is messed up, not smoking. He was the president of Bane’s capital. That dude was pretty cool in Batman. If Milt wore a mask like that I would vote for him. He doesn’t though. He looks like the guy who wants to turn the jack off booth shop into a parking lot in Jerkin’ 2: Erection Boogaloo. He is white, though. You know how they say you can’t teach height in b-ball, well you can’t teach that either. He was the governor of all of Massachusetts, including Southie, so that is pretty cool. He probably wouldn’t fall for it if you went up to him and said “Do you like apples?” He’s against abortion, even if the chick you got pregnant is fat or ugly!! The kid will be messed up.
The democrat candidate is Barak Hussein Obama. He is the president now. First of all, you have to admit he slams brews. He is a muslim, but he betrayed his brothers by killing Bin Laden. He is pretty good at basketball, but I like hockey. He is black. I am fine with that though. One time I got busy with a black chick. He passed Obamacare, so there are going to be a lot more ladies with jug implants. He’s a communist like that guy Rocky fought, so that is kind of messed up. I like that one where Rocky fights Mr. Tee and also the one where if Rocky doesn’t stop, his mom will shoot.
In conclusion, we should all write in Rocky for President of the United S.A.