Fantasy Tournament – Round 2


The votes have been tallied. The response was overwhelming. These are the fantasies that you prefer along with some example quotes from the ballots:

Threesome defeats Wearing mirrors on shoes legalized. “wearing mirrors on your shoes being illegal doesn’t stop me from doing it”, “sun could reflect into your eyes”

Putting pb on junk and having dog lick it off was upset by Putting dog on junk and having pb lick it off. “tired of the old way”

Having sex with quicksand routs Watching Ellen Degeneres take a dump. “She probably doesn’t take that big of dumps.”

Getting married to a woman that can queef the National Anthem smokes Getting jacked off by woman with three thumbs. “shows she is a true patriot”, “think what else she could do with it, maybe play kazoo”


Getting to be a tit for a day destroys Having sunglasses for eyes. “you could play with yourself all day”, “if your eyes are sunglasses how will you have hookers pee in them?”

Ability to turn into a motorcycle handily defeated by Woman that drinks soap and farts bubbles. “the only reason I would want to turn into a motorcycle is to attract a woman that farts bubbles”

Treehouse filled with porno trumps Dominatrix. “you could have all types of porno, not just of chicks with penises”, “I already have a woman that tells me what to do, I call her my wife lol. But seriously, Scott Peterson did the right thing”

Asian Schoolgirl is defeated by Fingering a dinosaur. “that schoolgirl could have SARS”, “I was obsessed with Jurassic Park when I was a kid. always wanted to finger a dinosaur or Wayne Knight”

Having a wet dream upsets Joan from Mad Men dropping her jugs on your head. “would probably hurt your neck”, “that’s what happened to FDR”.

Cheerleader with multiple sclerosis narrowly defeats Cheerleader. “the regular cheerleader at my high school called me a queerbait and shit in my locker”, “most handicapped people are nice”.

69 your grandma’s hottest friend loses to Penis lit on fire. “it has always been my dream to have my penis lit on fire”.

Girl with two beavers destroys Female doctor listens to your scrote with a stethoscope. “She’s got two of them. That is more than one”


Dong lights up like ET’s finger annihilates World peace. “if my dong lit up, I wouldn’t get in any fights”, “I like wars”

Make love to pile of fire ants barely loses to Turn any wall into a glory hole. “easy to redecorate apartment or nursing home”, “not attracted to fire ants”

Grow pubes any shape (except regular pube shape) steamrolls Farmer’s daughter. “I would grow it in shape of Ernest Borgnine to honor him”, “farmers’ daughters are used to knocking boots with bulls, so they will be disappointed with my johnson”

Putting schlong in hot dog bun and handing it to the President mops the floor with Whoopie Goldberg. “handing the president your weiner is something you can tell grandkids about”, “Whoopie Goldberg is? Is that the thing that when people sit on it sounds like a fart?”

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