Fantasy Tournament – 1st Round

 

I have been hearing that fantasy sports is the way to make ca$h, so I made my own fantasy tournament. I took the 32 most popular fantasies in America and set them up to go head to head until one is chosen as the favorite. Your votes are the deciding factor, so make sure you make your voice heard!

 

We have got some heavy hitters in this region. The perennial favorite putting peanut butter on your junk and having a dog lick it off vs. the young upstart, putting a dog on your junk and having peanut butter lick it off. Who hasn’t waited for wearing mirrors on your shoes to be legalized? Queefing the national anthem, sex with quicksand. This bracket has something for everyone!

Sex with a cheerleader or sex with a cheerleader that has multiple sclerosis. What does America prefer? Can the overall #1 seed in the tournament, girl with two beavers be upset? A female doctor listens to your scrote with a stethoscope has really been coming on strong! What about penis lit on fire? Is it as popular as we all think it is?

Ability to turn into a motorcycle vs. woman that eats soap and farts bubbles is going to be the tightest match of the first round.  I don’t know how anyone is going to beat fingering a dinosaur.  I’m getting a bone just thinking about it. Is there any problem that couldn’t be solved with a treehouse full of porno? One time, my cousin got to be a tit for a day. He said it rocked nuts.

World Peace is a lofty goal, too bad it has to face dong lights up like ET’s finger in the first round.  Make love to a pile of fireants?  It’s not my bag, but other people seem to love it.  Will (except regular pube shape) keep Can grow pubes any shape (except regular pube shape) from advancing to the next round? Putting schlong in a hot dog bun and handing it to the President is so hot with the kids these days.

 

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