Roommate Wanted – Players Only

 

$600 Roommate Wanted – Players Only (TriBeCa)

Fully furnished 4 bedroom in Tribeca. The reason it’s so cheap is that my dad pays the rent and all the bills. He owns a bunch of laundromats in Ohio. We just want someone cool to live with us and their rent will go strictly towards partying.

About us

I’m Jeff aka E-Dog, player supreme. My ex-girlfriend was a finalist on America’s Next Top Model. I like partying and chilling. I’m probably going to business school next year, but right now just kicking it.

Dobbs- Dobbs is my best friend. He played college football and now he’s training to be an MMA fighter.

Jerry- His sister is best friends with Eliza Dushku.

Requirements

Good Sense of Humor: Dobbs pulls pranks all the time. Last week he stuffed Jerry’s head in the toilet. I was dying, but I’m a sucker for the classics. One time I passed out in the living room and woke up with a mousetrap on my dick. He should be a comedian.

Must Be Cool Around Celebrities: We’re all friends with several Real World cast members. I don’t want to drop names, but they have a combined 7 Challenges. Dobbs went to Lindsay Lohan’s birthday party two years ago.

No Narcs: We all toke bud, and Dobbs take roids. We do crazy stuff all the time. One time we paid these two bums to fight each other in the apartment. We have strippers over at least once a month.

Pets: Jerry has two rattlesnakes, Stewie and Quagmire. He does tricks with them sometimes. It’s awesome. If you know how to make them fight, that is a plus.

You: Should be an awesome dude. Down for whatever. Contacts in the entertainment industry would be dope, because we have a lot of good ideas for movies.

Warning: There is a gay dude that lives next door, but he hasn’t bothered any of us yet.

If you’re interested answer the following questions:

1.What do you feel you would bring to the crew?
2.What would you do if I brought 2 girls home and one of them started cock blocking me? Describe a cock blocker you met in the past and how you dealt with them. (We kicked out the last roommate for cock blocking)
3.How many girls did you bang out last year?
4.If I wanted to bang out a girl, but there was a rattlesnake in my room, could I use yours until we caught it?
5.Bros before _____

 

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